Over the past few months, things have been pretty tough. My family lost my Nana to lung cancer in February and life hasn’t been the same since. There are days I want to pick up the phone and call her. Talk to her about all this craziness going on in the world. Ask for her advice on how to calm my worries. Honestly, I would give anything just to hear her say, “Hello, my baby” on the other end of the phone.
My Nana was an exceptional lady. She struggled much of her life with various health issues: autoimmune diseases, cancer, shingles…too many ailments for one person to deal with. Yet, she continued on and always put others before herself. She was the definition of STRONG.
Over the last few months, my grief has come in waves. One minute I can smile thinking about her and the next I am balling my eyes out looking at old photographs. Grief is a peculiar emotion. My body has been struggling physically for quite some time now, but adding in the stress of this global crisis and the grief of losing my Nana, symptoms have definitely been ramping up. Because of everything going on, I have been stress eating and consuming foods I know aren’t the greatest for my body and let me tell you – I feel the difference.
I may have fallen off my “healing” journey for a bit thanks to, well, life, but today I woke up and said “enough is enough.” I put together the below list of promises that I have decided to make to my body and my goal is to keep them. The road to healing isn’t paved in gold and glitter. It’s not surrounded by rainbows and you’re not given a fast track to prime health. Chronic illness doesn’t just disappear, but I believe I can get to a better place. It just takes time and patience.
My Promises to Body:
- I will love you always
- I will always protect you
- You will always be important
- I will feed you better food; healing food
- I will not consume foods that are not good for you or support you
- I will work on clearing my mind to support you better
- I will go on walks and take in more nature to feed the soul
- I will do my best to find the good in every day
- I will drink more water
- I will continue to advocate for you
- I will work on trusting you more and helping you myself, rather than solely relying on doctors to help
My message to my body: Thank you for being strong. Thank you for being intelligent. Thank you for supporting me for almost three decades of this life. Thank you for protecting me. I love you.
This post is dedicated to my Nana, Reina M. Carbonaro. November 22, 1933 – February 7, 2020. I will love you forever and always.
The Chronicles of Chronic Illness 