Chronicle II: The Not-So-Nice Days

Last night I tossed and turned almost every hour. I just couldn’t get comfortable. I was recently put on a new medication called Midodrine, which gives this tingling scalp sensation and chills. That was fun to deal with all night long…NOT!

I woke up this morning feeling drained and dizzy. That’s pretty much the norm most days, but some days it’s worse than others. I’ve noticed that for every good day I have, I tend to have a few days afterwards that knock me down. I have also learned not to take advantage of my body on the good days, because when I end up doing too much, the following 3-5 days, my illness basically laughs in my face.

If you are struggling with chronic illness, I am sure you understand the feeling of it being like a constant tug-of-war battle between you and your illness. I’ll stare POTS right in the eye and it stares directly back at me. I say, “Not today. You don’t get to win my body today.” Occasionally, this works, and POTS lets me win – I like to say those are the days when POTS “is feeling nice.” But on the days when I lose, my illness really likes to rub it in, and my body is its ultimate prize.

For me personally, the hardest part about dealing with chronic illness is losing control. The thought of not being able to control your body and its everyday functions, because somewhere down the line, you became a puppet on strings to something you never even knew sought control of you. I have gotten better with processing my emotions about it, but at the beginning of all of this, I often mourned my old body and life. I still do but I have learned that it is important to continue to look forward and not back. Looking backwards will only take more of a toll on you mentally, which I am a firm believer that as a result, will impact you even more physically.

Below, I included a picture of some of the products I use to get me through each day with POTS. In addition to these, I take a multitude of supplements and medications, but those are specific to my condition. No treatment plan is alike, because not every person is alike. Thus, it is extremely important to discuss with your doctor. You can find the below products either online or in a grocery store. I find they help alleviate some of my POTS symptoms:

Remember, for every bad day(s), good days will happen as well. Hold onto them, cherish them and think back to them when you’re experiencing a bad day. It won’t rain forever!

Some helpful products

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